Broken People

In Yoga this week we are learning about the Anahata chakra. In the yoga practice this chakra is the center of the chakras. A quick little summary of this chakra is that it deals with love, and the body area of this lesson is your heart. We were challenged in class to look deep into our thoughts this week and ask ourselves, "What do YOU need?", the main lesson of this week is to really understand and believe that what you need as a person is important. Going from class today I was thinking about a few things. Recently I have been noticing a lot of people around me are broken. Now, not really bones that are broken, but people with broken souls. I know it sounds like the making of a sappy song, but it's what I have observed. I have a tendency to want to love too much, and focus on taking care of others rather than taking care of myself. Lately, that is exactly what I have been doing. I go out of my way to be available to others whenever they need and or want and will dismiss what I need or what at the time. I do not mind dismissing my needs for others, doing so actually makes me feel better about myself in a weird twisted way. I can know a person just for a few days and will go into care giver mode and bend over backwards to make them feel better about whatever is going on in their lives. I have always been sort of a sponge in the sense that if one is sad, I will be sad, or if one is happy I will be happy, and so on and so forth. I get so caught up in the fact that I need to take care of the others around me, I forget about my needs. I tend to give out more than I receive and then find myself feeling unworthy when I receive same attention I give to others.

SO here I am writing this post in order to take ownership of what I need to do, and maybe I will actually do it if I tell the internet world what I need to do. (hopefully ha ha)

What I need to do is:
*Be good to myself and do what makes me happy.
*Do not let other people's sadness rub off onto my joy.
*I need to look for love and happiness in people who are also looking out for me too, and won't be selfish and only take what is given to them, but give back as much as they take. No more of this one way street business.
*Know I am worthy of having someone take care of me,and looking out for my best interests.

This is going to be a really hard thing for me to do, but I really need to take ownership of this part of who I am, and do something about it that will better myself. With this entry, not only have I noticed that a lot of people are broken and I have this weird habit of taking care of people that are broken, but I have noticed that I am a little broken too, and I need to find people and let people take care of me more than I take care of them. I am not sure any of this blog post makes sense, but if you take away one of my many crazy brain thoughts today, it's the fact that we all are a little broken, and we all deserve to be taken care of, not taken advantage of.

namaste.