Loving Lauren

This is a hodgepodge entry of a lot of my thoughts from my personal journal that I’ve been writing in the last year about my best friend. 

I have been tossing with the fact that, in your twenties apparently is the time for people to change the most. Their hair, their boyfriend/girlfriends, their home, their future jobs, their sense of style and taste in music. Everything changes, and nothing really sticks. Friendships come and go in waves. Mainly not being that they are bad, just for the fact that was all you could learn from those people. I moved away to a little town for college about four hours away from anything I’d ever known. I moved away from my parents, my brothers, my dog, and it was hard, but I was ready to go be on my own. Since day one of getting here and watching my parents drive away, I was in search of my “new best friend”.  You instantly want someone you can hang out with and joke with and talk about the latest Grey’s episode and how INSANE it was. But among the people I moved away from, was my best friend. Lauren is one of the most adorable people I know. Never puts herself first, ever.  Has shockingly badass taste in music compared to her sweet natured presence. She is the toughest person I know and I admire her in so many ways. She challenges me to stick up for myself, tells me the truth when I don’t want to hear it, and always listens. When I moved out here, I figured I would find someone to numb the pain of not having her around, and I have. Every girlfriend I have met in this town, are all good hearted, and have special places in my heart, but none of them really know me. Lauren knows when I am lying about being “okay” and she knows that sometimes you need a target and Starbucks fix, just so you can get something’s off your chest, not to shop. The way she loves people, her work, her family, and her passions is inspiring. She has every reason to guard her heart so closely, yet, she craves adventure. She is never shy about sticking up for herself, or me. 

I guess what I have come to realize, is that there isn't going to be new best friend here where I am, not like Lauren. I have found a good about of men that I confide in and look to when I am needing anything. I am thankful for these friends. They have helped me grow and achieve better confidence. But finding another person in this world like my Lizzy, it's just not going to happen. 

No more pressure on people I meet, no more pressure on myself to find someone to fill my Lauren void. I need to find contentment with those who I adore around me, and keep loving Lauren, and making sure she knows how special she is, as best as I can.

(Isn't she stunning?)