As I am writing this I am outside at a Starbucks with my dog and I am over hearing a little girl asking her Dad what the expression" Going with your gut." means... I have been home for about a week and a half, and my whole entire world has flipped upside down, to the right, and turned 90 degrees. I resigned from my job as an RA. It was an awfully hard decision to actually make, but I have been toying with the idea of not returning for a few months now. I am really going to miss my friends that started out just being coworkers, but I have a feeling those friendships will continue. I guess when I heard this little girl asking her dad what the expressin "going with your gut" I reflected on what I have been experiencing right now. I am really happy I have had sudden courage to go with my gut. Going with your gut, can be the best decision, it's just getting the courage to do what you know you need to do. I am really happy I went with my 'gut feeling' on this one. I already feel better about my life even though making the actual decision was really difficult. I know though, without the job that I just resigned from, the friends and the experiences I had in the past year wouldn't have happened. Most importantly, I wouldn't have the confidence to go do what I want to do...or go with my "gut feeling".
After I decided I needed to not return, all of a sudden it hit on me. I am homeless, jobless, and am in the wrong town to be trying to fix all of these problems. After I had a melt down...or two... I have found the perfect place, and hopefully that place works out. I have a few job ideas lined up. Instead of me being able to finally relax for a month for the first time since I was a senior in high school, I am rushing back up to Grand Junction to try to sign a lease, get another job, and finish up summer school. SIGH.
I am currently very excited for this next chapter of growing up and moving on. But in typical Macky fashion, it can't just be one thing at a time, it is my whole life changing at once. Overwhelmed is just one word to describe how my brain feels.
On another note, the only reason I am actually in Parker CO at the moment is because of my dashing young brother, Billy. He is graduating high school and I am the work horse for my mother. It has been non stop moving, cleaning, taking pictures, getting all the food in the world to fit in a fridge, on top of me calling every person in Grand Junction to see if they have a place for me to live in asap.
My brain is a jumbled mess. But I am loving every second of it for some reason. It sounds completely silly, but it all feels, right? Yes, right, is the correct word. I am overly excited about whats about to happen in my life.
Oh the joys of chaos.
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